10 tips how to make a man fall in love with you
If you're like most women, you sometimes wish for a guide map to love tactics. Impossible to live with or without, men are often almost incomprehensible to women, particularly when it comes to relationships. We are often told that chivalry is dead and that love and romance are nothing but pipe dreams. On the other hand, we hear that some men are incapable of dealing with strong modern women and that they wish we would simply go back to being helpless and dependent. These conflicting messages make it difficult to determine which love tactics might actually work.
Compounding this confusion is the fact that dating in the modern world is anything but cut and dried. At one time, it was expected that couples were simply dating or not dating. Relationships followed a linear path from one date to many dates to “dating.” Dating implied exclusivity and monogamy. Now we toss around terms like “hooking up” and “friends with benefits” and earnestly discuss the benefits of polygamy.
In this type of confused environment, it is easy to wonder how anyone ever manages to create a successful relationship. Rather than love tactics, you may start to feel like you need a road map. These feelings of frustration are quite normal and understandable. It is impossible to guarantee that any particular relationship will work out in the way that you want. Nonetheless, following these tried and true guidelines will give you the best chance for turning a new relationship into the one you want.
1. Maintain your independence. This all-important love tactic cannot be stressed enough.
Early in a relationship, your hormones and biochemical responses will go crazy. No matter how smart and independent you normally are, this physiological mechanism will compel you to begin spending all of your time with your new love. You will think about him constantly and feel the urge to withdraw from everything else in your life in order to focus on him.
While these feelings are normal and primal, acting on them is not smart. Men are hard-wired differently than women, and your drawing too close too soon may make him feel trapped. You do not want to jeopardize the relationship by appearing clingy or dependent.
Force yourself to continue your normal activities, including spending time with your friends, going to the gym, or whatever you did before you met him.
2. Make him feel important. Although at first glance, this tactic may seem to be the polar opposite of the first, it highlights the necessity of maintaining a balancing act. While no man wants you to appear needy or desperate, no man wants to feel that he doesn't matter at all. You can accomplish this second love tactic without jeopardizing the first.
When you are with him, turn off your cell phone. Be on time for dates. Return his calls within a reasonable amount of time. Remember things that you talked about on one date and ask follow-up questions on the next date.
Following a few simple courtesies will allow you to express his importance in your life.
3. Be intriguing. He would not have asked you out in the first place if he didn't find you fascinating.
Yet a woman’s instinct is often to share too much too soon. It 's normal to want to bring a new love into your confidence. However, if the relationship becomes long term, you will have the rest of your life to deal with the not-so-sexy realities of life.
In the beginning, maintain a certain aura of mystery by not telling him every little thing about you and your daily life. Don't lie, of course, but don't give in to the urge to bare your soul about anything and everything.
4. Take care of yourself. As a relationship progresses, it's normal for nights out on the town to give way to nights in front of the television with a pizza or Chinese takeout. However, during the early phase of a relationship, it's important not to treat a night in with your man as you would a night in with the girls.
Save the sweatpants and T-shirt look for later. Be sure that you are showered, made up and dressed for your nights in just as you are for your nights out.
5. Take your time with physical intimacy. Remember the “bases” in middle school? There is a reason those bases were carefully defined.
Letting the physical side of your relationship develop gradually over time accomplishes a number of goals. It allows you to focus on getting to know each other in nonsexual ways. It allows you to build trust before intimacy. It also allows the two of you to get to know each other’s bodies slowly.
6. Discuss your individual futures. A discussion about your futures shouldn't be a relationship discussion. Rather, take the time to learn what each of you truly wants as an individual.
Too often, we begin relationships that are doomed to fail simply because each partner wants something very different out of life. This can lead to resentment and bitterness as compromises are forced. If you both know what each partner wants from the beginning, you have a much better chance of developing a relationship that truly works with both partners’ life goals.
7. Don't make assumptions. Never assume that the relationship is exclusive unless it has been directly stated. Do not assume without asking that your partner will be available to escort you to an event. Do not drop in on him at work or stop by his house without asking in advance.
Even if he gives you a key to his place, at the beginning it is polite to let him know that you plan to come by. Doing otherwise is rude and sends the signal that you are unconcerned about his plans.
8. Get to know him. So often, we are too busy making sure we are witty and beautiful and interesting that we forget that our partner is also a complex human being. You don’t have to memorize a list, but become familiar with his likes and dislikes, his moods and his fears.
Knowing your partner as a whole complicated individual will allow you to deal with his downside from a place of understanding. This will shine through the entire relationship.
9. Suggest creative and action-oriented dates. While you don’t want to move from girlfriend material to activity partner, many men are used to being active and have trouble spending hours just sitting and talking.
Create bonding opportunities by teaching him to dance or having him teach you rock climbing. Whatever the specific activities are, those shared moments will draw the two of you closer together.
10. Be yourself. This is the most important love tactic of all. You will not be able to hold up an illusion forever, so eventually you will have to come clean. Down the road, if you have made him fall in love with an illusion, he will be understandably angry and disappointed.
Let him know who you are from the beginning and never apologize for being yourself. He will respect you much more for being honest.
Obviously, there is no guarantee that these love tactics will work in every situation. Sometimes a guy simply is not interested in you. In those cases, you should be able to gracefully withdraw and move on. If the initial interest is there, however, then following the above listed love tactics will help you take the relationship to the next level.
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